Lisa! Will she?

[sema]

After our weekend at home we came for work and university back to Vienna. We fell into our routine again. Job for Lisa, lecture theatre for me.

After this conversation about her teacher nothing really interesting happened for the next days. Until I got this horny feeling and my dirty thoughts. I was wondering how to start the conversation. Should I recall her teacher or should I talk about our poly friends. While thinking I totally lost the right point and it felt at no time right to do so. Lisa was not in the right mood because of work or whatever hits a girl.

Until yesterday evening.

After my lessons at university i hung up with some friends drinking beer. It was already probably around 20:00 that I came home. It was silent in our apartment and the light was off, only a small crack of the door to our sleeping room was open. A faint ray of light has shone out. I silently walked over and opened to door a little bit.
There was Lisa lying on our bed, sleeping. Flat on her stomach with only a t-shirt shoved up around her breasts. Her tight ass in full view.
Her legs open and she was sleeping. I saw her tablet beside her. It was clear she just masturbated and had fallen into sleep doing so.
She heard me and woke up, looking at me with a confused, guilty and caught face. I asked her if she masturbated and it was her confusion at that moment that made her brain tell the truth. She said yes.
I asked around and i asked her waht she was watching. Still confused she said she watched "blowjobs".
Plurality.
She didn't say "blowjob", she said "blowjobs". With a "s".
I didn't want to let her go.
I asked her what exactly she was watching and instead of talking to me she gave me her tablet. She stood up, sleepy and walked to the bathroom while I checked her browser. The window was still open and the movie featured a blowgang. A girl blowing multiple guys. Can you image the erection I had at this moment?

When she finally came back to bed i fell over her and we had quick sex. Me all the while thinking of my beautiful Lisa being the one in the middle. I wondered if Lisa was thinking the same. Post nut clarity hit me after I came and we didn't talked about the thing afterwards.

What makes this so interesting: of course the topic of the dirty movie. But also that Lisa wanted me to know. Since my brain is working again I was constantly thinking that Lisa is knowing what is going on in my brain.

[bbarnsworth]

Perhaps rather than guessing what she's thinking and vice versa, it's time for some truly open conversation

[Marksmall5]

Interesting thread. I think the key here is her interest in semen and tasting it, an opening here to move toward a state where she can experiment and taste a few other men.

[sema]

I know that I should talk with Lisa about it. My big concern is what she will tell me. What if I'm just stuck in my foggy girlfriend-sharing-world and do interpret her actions and hints totally wrong. What if I see things because I just want to seem them.
This would kill my motivation immediately. It circles around what Lisa's wants and of course, it stands and falls with her attitude to it.a

The second thing is what I want to become reality. Moving from phantasy to reality is also a big step. I know that for most of you around the forum it was easy. It happened sometimes. In my case I'm thinking already for some time about it and the next step is not easy for me. For example to confess to Lisa what I want. I'm not even sure what I want. I know what I don't want. I'm not into the the poly thing and I'm not into any humiliating things. I read about creampies but it is Lisa who is into tasting semen, not me.

Since this last masturbation thing we fell into some routine and although I have observed very closely I didn't find a hint in Lisa's behaviour.

[gruenberg]

You both are young. You have time. Don't rush things.

[hwlurker88]

I know that I should talk with Lisa about it. My big concern is what she will tell me. What if I'm just stuck in my foggy girlfriend-sharing-world and do interpret her actions and hints totally wrong. What if I see things because I just want to seem them.
This would kill my motivation immediately. It circles around what Lisa's wants and of course, it stands and falls with her attitude to it.a

The second thing is what I want to become reality. Moving from phantasy to reality is also a big step. I know that for most of you around the forum it was easy. It happened sometimes. In my case I'm thinking already for some time about it and the next step is not easy for me. For example to confess to Lisa what I want. I'm not even sure what I want. I know what I don't want. I'm not into the the poly thing and I'm not into any humiliating things. I read about creampies but it is Lisa who is into tasting semen, not me.

Since this last masturbation thing we fell into some routine and although I have observed very closely I didn't find a hint in Lisa's behaviour.

All of these concerns you are having can be cleared up with open communication. Like literally tell her if you think you might be over thinking her responses. Get very literal and descriptive with her. Also you can tell her that you aren't sure if you even want it but that it does turn you on. If she is also interested, maybe she would help you through the baby steps it sounds like you need.

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Honestly. Don't be scared to be embarrassed.

[zorro]

My philosophy is that in a good marriage, the two spouses are not afraid to talk about anything. Especially core things like sexuality. Avoiding opportunities for such discussions becomes lost opportunities for growing intimacy and love. Unless you two can be real with each other, then you are together with just idealized images of each other and not real people.

Sure, it can be scary to be honest and open, but it gets easier with repeated practice. Tell yourself to be brave. It is for a good purpose. Feel the fear and do it anyhow.

[sema]

I know that I should talk with Lisa about it. My big concern is what she will tell me. What if I'm just stuck in my foggy girlfriend-sharing-world and do interpret her actions and hints totally wrong. What if I see things because I just want to seem them.
This would kill my motivation immediately. It circles around what Lisa's wants and of course, it stands and falls with her attitude to it.a

The second thing is what I want to become reality. Moving from phantasy to reality is also a big step. I know that for most of you around the forum it was easy. It happened sometimes. In my case I'm thinking already for some time about it and the next step is not easy for me. For example to confess to Lisa what I want. I'm not even sure what I want. I know what I don't want. I'm not into the the poly thing and I'm not into any humiliating things. I read about creampies but it is Lisa who is into tasting semen, not me.

Since this last masturbation thing we fell into some routine and although I have observed very closely I didn't find a hint in Lisa's behaviour.

All of these concerns you are having can be cleared up with open communication. Like literally tell her if you think you might be over thinking her responses. Get very literal and descriptive with her. Also you can tell her that you aren't sure if you even want it but that it does turn you on. If she is also interested, maybe she would help you through the baby steps it sounds like you need.

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Honestly. Don't be scared to be embarrassed.

I'm already pretty well established in my world of phanatics. All I need to do is to get a few clear trigger points and I'm already in my girlfriend-sharing world. So my big concern is not the communicating on my part, I guess is cn handle this.
But what if Lisa is totally against it? What should I do if she destroyes this phantasie-world of mine?

Like said, it all raises and falls with her point of view.

[sema]

My philosophy is that in a good marriage, the two spouses are not afraid to talk about anything. Especially core things like sexuality. Avoiding opportunities for such discussions becomes lost opportunities for growing intimacy and love. Unless you two can be real with each other, then you are together with just idealized images of each other and not real people.

Sure, it can be scary to be honest and open, but it gets easier with repeated practice. Tell yourself to be brave. It is for a good purpose. Feel the fear and do it anyhow.

Feeling the fear.....

[sema]

Anyway, I guess I messed it up.

It wasn't probably the best idea but I thought I will show Lisa a porn I was watching. It features Karla Kush in a threesome with two black guys. Not that interracial is a big point for me in this game, but it is about Karla Kush who has a similarity with Lisa. It is an older porn, because Karla looks quite younger and the blonde hair is similar to Lisa's. Karla is wearing purple underwear and white stockings. The finish is Karla between the two guys with her face covered in cum. I thought that this part will be Lisa's favorite. It is from blacked.com.

My idea was that Lisa showed me a porn she was masturbating recently and I thought I can do it too.

It wasn't Lisa's, just say it that way. I read it from her reaction. She didn't mention it afterwards, only as I asked her about. Her response was not effusive, as I expected or hoped. No, it was rather reserved. She just said, she watched it. But it didn't seem to make her want to masturbate.
Since then she never mentioned it again.

So was that it?

[Small]

Maybe she just isn't into black guys or threesomes? It doesn't have to be deeper than that.

[zorro]

It wasn't Lisa's, just say it that way. I read it from her reaction. She didn't mention it afterwards, only as I asked her about. Her response was not effusive, as I expected or hoped. No, it was rather reserved. She just said, she watched it. But it didn't seem to make her want to masturbate.
Since then she never mentioned it again.

So was that it?

No, I don't know you messed up. You revealed more of yourself (I hope). If the porn selection was an attempt to manipulate Lisa into what you fantasize she would want, then perhaps you did not reveal your desires. If so, your porn missed the point: To be real about your real self and your real desires.

Because you are at a point where you are unsure about whether you want to share her (part of you does, part of you doesn't), then a proper discussion might take the form of revealing what you want -- and your uncertainties. Her silence may be because she experiences you as pressuring her into something -- and if you aren't open with her -- rather than what is on your mind. Because she is silent, you really don't know what she is thinking. She may be wondering, "What is the message here?" And the holes in communication are again revealed.

To be successful, there needs to be an honest dialogue between Lisa and yourself and then perhaps some back and forth about what each of you wants and doesn't want. I don't hear that happening.

I don't know if you messed up. Perhaps you can segue this into a more productive interaction with her.

HW is an excellent opportunity for building intimacy. And remember the core of intimacy: Into me you see.

Let's see where you both can take this.

[ffoy]

You do it more subtly, not so straightforward. Instead of just bringing her your videos, ask her more about what she likes. Let her know that you like that too. And if she asks why, tell her that her feelings about it matter a lot to you; the fact that she likes it contributes to your own feelings, and you also really like it yourself. Ask her about what she likes, what her fantasies are, and what arouses her and makes her feel hornier. Let her feel free to share her hidden intimate feelings with you. Search for videos together. This way, you’ll be more sure she likes them. If she feels shy or uncomfortable about kinkier stuff, try to introduce it slowly. You can go back to the video she showed you. Play with her while she enjoys the videos. Don’t make the cuckold experience your ultimate goal. No one can promise that it will happen, but you can get closer to your gf and share more intimate experiences with her. And you will be able to tell her about your fantasies in more natural way when the right time comes. You guys just enjoy yourself, this is what I'd like to say

[sema]

Since this failed story with the porn Lisa is kind of reserved. For example I wanted to have sex with her yesterday and I felt that she wasn't in the mood. So I dropped it and let her alone. This is very strange and actually rarely or never happens. When ever one of us is in the mood we end up screwing. This is one of the things I love so much on her.

I really think I screwed up. Not in a way that our realtionship is gone bad but I can't see a way to approach the topic again.

[Tryn]

Instead of sending Lisa porn that you like, send her something that she may like. Send her a video of a fit girl giving a hung guy a bj and see how that goes. If it goes well, then the next time send it to her and ask her to call you in when she finishes watching it. Ask her what she likes about it, what goes through her mind, etc. Focus on her interests, feelings, and turn ons so that you can find a way to fit yours with hers.

[sema]

Instead of sending Lisa porn that you like, send her something that she may like. Send her a video of a fit girl giving a hung guy a bj and see how that goes. If it goes well, then the next time send it to her and ask her to call you in when she finishes watching it. Ask her what she likes about it, what goes through her mind, etc. Focus on her interests, feelings, and turn ons so that you can find a way to fit yours with hers.

This is the big mistake. Yes, I liked the porn because the porn starlet is looking similar to Lisa. With her golden white hair and her curls.
But I also thought it was similar to the porn Lisa was watching with all the cum in the face of the girl. I really thought it was something she likes.

I tried my luck again for sex and the mood is still not good. I failed with my wish for sex today again.

[ccklvr]

Instead of sending Lisa porn that you like, send her something that she may like. Send her a video of a fit girl giving a hung guy a bj and see how that goes. If it goes well, then the next time send it to her and ask her to call you in when she finishes watching it. Ask her what she likes about it, what goes through her mind, etc. Focus on her interests, feelings, and turn ons so that you can find a way to fit yours with hers.

This is the big mistake. Yes, I liked the porn because the porn starlet is looking similar to Lisa. With her golden white hair and her curls.
But I also thought it was similar to the porn Lisa was watching with all the cum in the face of the girl. I really thought it was something she likes.

I tried my luck again for sex and the mood is still not good. I failed with my wish for sex today again.

Just give her some time. When the storm has passed, you can find out what caused it.

[sema]

The last few days weren't easy for me. I tried again to approach some sex and was rejected immediately. I finally couldn't stand it anymore and I asked her what is going on and what is wrong. There was this big elephant in the room and I wanted to talk about it.
We talked. What a talk. I never saw this coming.
We talked not only once. The whole conversation lasted a few days until everything was out.

I didn't expect the direction these talks have taken. But I`m finally happy that it went that way. How could I not?

It all started that I was approaching sex with Lisa. We hadn't had it for a while and this is rather untypical. As we were netflixing recently I tried my luck and Lisa wasn't in the mood. I waited for a while and finally after the episode ended I turned the TV off and asked Lisa about our current situation.

At first she wasn't happy to talk about it and very reserved. She tried to bring other things up, stupid things, why she isn't in the mood. I didn't let up but was pushed back. Lisa just said it was about the porn I sent her and she doesn't want to talk right now.

I left it that way, it was obviously impossible to talk to her at this point. I told her that I'm fine but that I want to talk about it and she should come to me whenever she is ready. She said that she would.

She did, a few days later.

I never imagined that she really would but one evening we were again on the couch watching some bullshit as Lisa turned of the TV and turned herself to me and said that she wanted to talk about it. It was a conversation with tears, with holding eachother, with lots of emotions.

The summary is kind of surprising and I will make it short: Lisa said that she was kind of turned on on what I sent to her. She imagined herself in the situation of the porn starlet having sex with two guys. This feelings didn't fell right to her. She said the liked that there was so much sperm from two cocks at once and she masturbated alot afterwards thinking of this scenario. She said she would like to be in that situation but it is not right for a girl being in a relationship thinking of such stuff. This whole story has really upset her the last few days and she didn't want to have sex with me because she didn't know how she would react. She is ashamed of it and during our conversations she has said several times that she loves me and that I shouldn't think badly of her. She is afraid that I will leave her if she reveals herself.

I let her talk and till now I haven't said something about my phantasies. I think that would be too much right now. I did say that I love her that and that I'm happy he has told me about it. I did my best to give her the feeling that I'm in love with her and that everything is fine. No need to worry.

Since our conversations we had sex, but it wasn't the best. There is still the elephant in the room but I have the feeling that it will get better soon.

I will tell her my feelings soon, but I guess she needs some time.

Lisa is very affectionate and I can still feel that she is ashamed. Although I do my best to make her feel differently.

[newUK]

It’s clearly taking her time to come to terms with her own feelings.

You are right to play it slow. Telling her your fantasies will either give her some encouragement and lessen the guilt she seems to have. But it might also have a negative effect if she thinks you might push her to be that pornstar with the 2 guys.

You know her best and I hope you find the right angle to progress your fantasy to reality.

Good luck!

[best_friend]

Interesting twist of the plot.
Who saw this coming?

[sema]

After the last conversation in which Lisa confessed her feelings to me, I thought that I could tell her about my fantasies soon afterwards. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible. The elephant was still in the room and I wanted to wait for the right opportunity, but unfortunately it didn't come.

The sex between us was still not the same as before. Something was different. I always had the feeling that each of us was waiting for a reaction from the other. In this situation, I just didn't feel comfortable talking about my fantasies.

Lisa said very often afterwards that she loved me and I realized that she really had a very guilty conscience. She doesn't think she should have such feelings when she's in a relationship. I thought it would be easy if the girlfriend admits that such porn makes her horny. It just wasn't. Of course, I did my best to convince her that everything was fine and that I loved her. Still, that didn't really stop her from having that uneasy feeling.

A few days ago, we were sitting in the car for a few hours and I summoned up all my courage and then asked her about it. It's handy to have conversations like that in the car while driving. The other person can't leave and you don't have to do anything other than scroll Instagram. And you don't have to look each other in the eye. In the beginning, it was common for her to feel ashamed and that I couldn't love her if she had such thoughts.

But then it got better and there was a turning point at the end. Our sex is also better again. I think we're on the right track.

[best_friend]

It is good to hear that everything will get fine.

Just take your time. Don't rush anything.

[sema]

We had another conversation and I could deliver my point of view. Kind of, not all what I'm thinking and fantasize about. But we are on a good way. Lisa again was very apologetic about her feelings and it took some time to convince her that everything is fine. I'm not sure if she is 100% convinced.

The big news is we included this hotwife scenario a few days later in our love making. I gathered all my courage while she gave me a blowjob and asked her if she would think of blowing another cock. She just stopped for a brief moment and looked me into the eyes but said nothing. Just a mumbling sound what could be a yes or a maybe or a no. In my world it was a yes. The reason is simple, because Lisa began to touch herself while she continued to blow me. This worked her up to the point that she stopped blowing me and focused on her touching herself till she came.

We finshed with some sex soon and afterwards as we cuddled Lisa said that it was a hot session and she liked it. We talked about our relationship and that we are happy to have each other. But then she surprised me quite a bit by asking what I meant previously by asking her about another penis. I said that I just wanted to know if she sometimes is thinking about other cocks. She didn't give me an answer but the conversation turned into a very interesting direction. Lisa asked me if I miss something because we are together for such a long time and if we stay together for ever there would never be another girl for me. I said that everything is fine and I don't want someone else. This answer didn't completely calm her down, I could feel that. Lisa told me and felt sorry again that she sometimes thinks what it would be to taste someone else. She was really ashamed to confess this and it took a while.

I was horny again and we had another round of sex. This time the sex was more romantic and I felt that she needed it this way.

The next day in the morning everything was normal but as I came home in the evening Lisa was already at home and awaited me nude except in black stockings. It was obvious what she wanted.

Again after the sex, which was fast and wild, we cuddled and I asked Lisa if she would like to live out her fantasy. She said no. That wouldn't be a good idea and had millions of reasons why not to do it.

I left it that way although I'm kind of disappointed. I did my best to hide it.

There is still that little flame of hope that she would change her mind. Especially when you think about the past few days and how she reacted to things.

[MrMtl]

Don’t get discouraged. I personally think that for some women it might be difficult to process that they are excited about having sex with someone else. We have been so much brainwashed with how a relationship should be being catholic. Now when we start thinking otherwise well it’s kinda of a clash in the way we were raised. Give her time but don’t stop telling her that you love her.