Not sure if I'm in the right place..

[Wantsomefunto]

Since she is going out this weekend with a gf that is in an open relationship, this would be a good time for you to encourage your wife to be more slutty and wear something that make her look slutty. Help her pick it out and help her get ready if you can. Eat her pussy. Bit before she leaves to make sure she is very horny. Tell her to be a naughty girl for you while she is out, flirt and tease a guy to see if she can make him hard.

[Tryn]

You could suggest a game for your wife to play with you while she’s out. Assign points to doing certain things. Maybe 1 point for dancing with a guy, and more points if it’s more risqué dancing. Based on how many points she “earns”, she gets a “prize” after. Prizes would be you doing chores she doesn’t like (cooking, washing dishes, vacuuming, etc.) for a week, or they can be things she likes (massage, spa day, shopping, etc.). If she feels like she’s playing a game with you and that there’s “prizes” at the end, it might help her to get out of head and re-frame her actions into something less intimidating. Obviously, big things should earn big points, like making out, groping, or giving her number/socials to a guy for messaging.

[Wantsomefunto]

Good idea Tryn

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Ask her how she thinks or would want an encounter with another man to go

I think this is what I will do next time I'm playing with her pussy, at the very least it will give her the opportunity to think about another man hypothetically while she is approaching an orgasm. Although for all I know she may have already done this.

Since she is going out this weekend with a gf that is in an open relationship, this would be a good time for you to encourage your wife to be more slutty and wear something that make her look slutty. Help her pick it out and help her get ready if you can. Eat her pussy. Bit before she leaves to make sure she is very horny. Tell her to be a naughty girl for you while she is out, flirt and tease a guy to see if she can make him hard.

Another good idea, however this Saturday will be the last day of her period. So choice of outfit may not be that revealing and probably no opportunity to get her worked up before she leaves.

You could suggest a game for your wife to play with you while she’s out. Assign points to doing certain things. Maybe 1 point for dancing with a guy, and more points if it’s more risqué dancing. Based on how many points she “earns”, she gets a “prize” after. Prizes would be you doing chores she doesn’t like (cooking, washing dishes, vacuuming, etc.) for a week, or they can be things she likes (massage, spa day, shopping, etc.). If she feels like she’s playing a game with you and that there’s “prizes” at the end, it might help her to get out of head and re-frame her actions into something less intimidating. Obviously, big things should earn big points, like making out, groping, or giving her number/socials to a guy for messaging.

This is actually great and I'd never thought about it before. I very much doubt that she would jump to doing anything physical so early on however I could certainly start with just getting a guys number. Even that would be a big step forward for her. The last time she went out with her friend Z she automatically rejected eye contact from every guy that locked eyes with her. This time she has told me she will be leaving her wedding ring at home so she certainly seems to be in a different head space from a couple of months ago. Adding the extra incentive of turning it into a game will hopefully reinforce that I'm onboard and that she doesn't need to give in to any feelings of guilt.

She has been extremely loving towards me this week. Lots of spontaneous cuddles and telling me how much she loves me and feels safe with me, how much she appreciates being in a safe relationship and marriage. Is this normal of wives at this stage of their hotwife journey? Or am I reading too much into her expressing her geniune love for me?

Where is my head at right now? I've done a lot of thinking since our last pillow talk and I'm comfortable with the situation now. I've slept with many women and I am her first, I know that being sexually inexperienced is something that's played on her mind from time to time. I don't want her to get to our twilight years and feels she missed out on certain aspects of life because of our marriage, so I want her to have some exciting experiences and for us to be able to use them to enhance our own sexual relationship. If she can have exciting fun with guys and still have a solid safe marriage to come back to, isn't that the best of both worlds?

My concerns? I'm still anxious that she could fall head over heels for another guy and decide life looks better with them, but I guess we all take that risk in this lifestyle. I would prefer her not to have any long term boyfriends, maybe initially playing with guys that have experience in this world is a better place to start? Guys that I know won't disrespect our marriage. I think that's a conversation for when it's clear she wants to really follow through and it isn't just a passing fantasy. I know some people here will say that maybe it's not my place to put restrictions on what types of relationships she can have and maybe those people would be correct, but we're still married and the situation has to work for both of us.

As always any and all feedback is appreciated.

On a side note, the other night she looked at my computer and saw a "Our Hotwives" tab open and joked that I was looking at other peoples wives. So I think when we have our next conversation about her moving forward with flirting and maybe more, I will tell her about what this website is.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Well it looks like we're game on tomorrow night.

My wife, who I'll call L from this point on, and I had a chat the other night where I outlined my thinking as I detailed above. She doesn't think she will be jumping into bed with anyone anytime soon, but she is keen to play a game and try to get someone to offer her their phone number. I've said that if she can get a phone number then I'll do the cooking for a week and if she gets a kiss then I'll do all of the household chores, she has accepted these terms quite enthusiastically.

Now, back to our chat. She said that she does want to sleep with other men and really doesn't want to miss out on those experiences, however she is worried about making me jealous and doing damage to our relationship. She really needs a guy to make her feel safe before she will even consider having sex with them, I was the first guy that made her feel safe enough. She likes the idea of getting phone numbers though so she can "control the situation."

I think we've made some more big steps forward. She isn't ashamed to tell me that she does want to experience other men, she has outlined her main concerns. She has also said that anything we do, we will do it together. Although she couldn't believe me when I told her that I'd love to watch her with another man, she really is worried about my feelings. I'm proud to say that made my heart swell with love, I'm confident that if we can go at a comfortable pace that this will really enhance our marriage.

She told me the same thing she has mentioned to me before, that she would prefer to use guys to make her cum and doesn't really want to focus on pleasing them so much. That tells me that she wants these experiences for her, rather than trying to find someone to replace me lol. I also think she will be quite a selfish lover, but who else is this experience for, if it's not for her? This may change over time as she grows more confident in her abilities and she grows into her sluttiness, that she seems to want so badly. I'd like her to be proud of her ability to get guys off, but for now it's one step at a time.

I really can't stress enough that backing off and letting ideas marinate for a few months really does seem to work wonders, she certainly seems to have really considered this over the time I've not brought it up.

[newUK]

I’m looking forward to tomorrow night as much as you!

Hope she lets her hair down and enjoys herself.

Be sure to praise her for her efforts whatever she tells you. Let her know how excited you are at the thought of her flirting with another guy. Make sure she really knows she has your blessing. And be ready for her shifting through the gears pretty quick once she enjoys some attention.

My HW went from shy and uncertain to 2 different guys in the space of a fortnight. It really is true what most say on here, once they get a taste there is no stopping them :-)

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

I’m looking forward to tomorrow night as much as you!

Hope she lets her hair down and enjoys herself.

Be sure to praise her for her efforts whatever she tells you. Let her know how excited you are at the thought of her flirting with another guy. Make sure she really knows she has your blessing. And be ready for her shifting through the gears pretty quick once she enjoys some attention.

My HW went from shy and uncertain to 2 different guys in the space of a fortnight. It really is true what most say on here, once they get a taste there is no stopping them :-)

Thank you for your reply and insight, I've had a read of your thread and it sounds like you are both having a blast so far! I certainly hope L can find it within her to let herself enjoy her night out, if nothing else she deserves to be able to let her hair down.

I'm now home alone, I've got a bottle of South Australian red and a good book. Heaven. L excitedly took a picture of her handing over her wedding ring to me and sent it to her partner in crime Z. I dropped her off and in the car gave her some positive reinforcement, the deal is to get the phone number of a man she likes and I'll be cooking dinner all of next week. I think at this stage a kiss is a step too far, but she may surprise me. Anyway it will be radio silence from here on out as I let the girls enjoy their hunt, can't wait to hear about it in the morning.

A question for the girls. Am I being naive in thinking that L won't immediately discuss this situation and these developments over the past week, with her friend Z? Or will they more likely be chatting away a maybe hatching a plan of action? I haven't told her to keep it a secret, it didn't even cross my mind.

[mrglad2cu2]

Hi MonaLisaOverdrive

You need to be happy with your wife becoming a slut. The general joke is that the second hardest thing is getting your wife to start. The hardest thing to do is to get your wife to stop. You will need to keep giving positive feedback or she will think you are changing your mind or jumping from yes to no and no to yes.
You could also do a list of cards where you BOTH choose together to write dares on. It could be something simple like:
Sun tanning topless in the back yard
Going shopping with you in a short skirt without panties AKA knicker less.
Going without a bra
Sending a fully nude photo to your phone
Then she draws one randomly. They should be tame to start with, without other males involved. Once all are completed then you BOTH do a more daring set. That way she can slowly become comfortable about becoming a slut whilst still keeping control of how far and how fast she goes.

I always tell my girlfriends that SLUT stands for Sexually Liberated Unique Tri-sexual. Then it becomes more positive than negative and insulting, as stud does for men. I believe becoming a slut is easier if you start with exhibitionism first.

It does seem like she is okay to proceed so good luck to both of you with your progress.

[Seductionrules]

"L excitedly took a picture of her handing over her wedding ring to me and sent it to her partner in crime Z." ......

"A question for the girls. Am I being naive in thinking that L won't immediately discuss this situation and these developments over the past week, with her friend Z? Or will they more likely be chatting away a maybe hatching a plan of action? I haven't told her to keep it a secret, it didn't even cross my mind."

I think handing over the wedding ring gives a clear direction to G about where L wants to go...

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Sounds like she had a fun night! They went to 3 bars before they found a couple of acceptable targets. She danced with a few guys but didn't get a phone number.

She did get a kiss though! So the results of the night were completely different to what I predicted, I'm so proud that she actually let a man kiss her. She said she didn't feel any passion or spark with him at all though, unlucky fella. L and Z were overall pretty unhappy with the selection of men on offer, it was absolutely awful weather though, so they have decided to install some dating apps and find their targets ahead of time. I assume they will then be inviting them on a double date of sorts. I told her that it's perfectly acceptable to have high standards, if we're going to explore outside our marriage then we may as well do it with guys that are worthy of our time and effort.

L told Z about our game, not the relationship developments exactly, just that I'd challenged her to get a phone number. Z tried her best to help L win, but none was offered. She asked L if she was going to tell me about her kiss, to which L said "of course." I did not feel any jealousy at all at the news, just an instant erection. She said she felt a little guilty at the kiss, not for doing it though, because she lied to the guy. He is 26, L is 28 but she told him she is 23 and when she asked if she was single she said "yes." I think he was smitten with her, she said he followed her around like a lost puppy. Unfortunately for him she didn't feel the magic.

Big steps forward for her. The physical reality of actually sleeping with a guy is a long way off I would imagine, but she certainly seems completely comfortable with the idea of dating men and using them in some form for her own pleasure. It's just finding the right guy.

[newUK]

That’s great news and absolutely a massive step forward for you both!

Imagine if she had liked the guy she kissed! It wouldn’t take a lot for that to lead to a phone number, or even an invite back to his or a hotel.

Maybe have a chat with her and let her know if things do progress like that in the heat of the moment (I’ve learnt from my HotWife things can really progress fast when they like someone!) that it’s perfectly ok. If you want to set any rules then discuss them. For example she has to let you know what she is doing or where she is going. You might of course just prefer to give her free rein to do what she wants and tell you after.

Congrats to you both :-)

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

"L excitedly took a picture of her handing over her wedding ring to me and sent it to her partner in crime Z." ......

"A question for the girls. Am I being naive in thinking that L won't immediately discuss this situation and these developments over the past week, with her friend Z? Or will they more likely be chatting away a maybe hatching a plan of action? I haven't told her to keep it a secret, it didn't even cross my mind."

I think handing over the wedding ring gives a clear direction to G about where L wants to go...

She seemed to really enjoy the implications of taking it off and me putting it back on her finger this morning when I picked her up. She thought it was cute I brought it in the car, like I was in a hurry to make her mine again. Who is G? Or was that a typo?

You need to be happy with your wife becoming a slut. The general joke is that the second hardest thing is getting your wife to start. The hardest thing to do is to get your wife to stop. You will need to keep giving positive feedback or she will think you are changing your mind or jumping from yes to no and no to yes.
You could also do a list of cards where you BOTH choose together to write dares on. It could be something simple like:
Sun tanning topless in the back yard
Going shopping with you in a short skirt without panties AKA knicker less.
Going without a bra
Sending a fully nude photo to your phone
Then she draws one randomly. They should be tame to start with, without other males involved. Once all are completed then you BOTH do a more daring set. That way she can slowly become comfortable about becoming a slut whilst still keeping control of how far and how fast she goes.

I always tell my girlfriends that SLUT stands for Sexually Liberated Unique Tri-sexual. Then it becomes more positive than negative and insulting, as stud does for men. I believe becoming a slut is easier if you start with exhibitionism first.

It does seem like she is okay to proceed so good luck to both of you with your progress.

I'm happy with it, it's become quite exciting to me to imagine her expanding her sexual experiences. She really lacks confidence in this area and I know that emotionally and mentally she will benefit so much. I really like your idea, it would be a great little project for us to work on together, bouncing ideas off of each other to add to the list of potential challenges. L doesn't seem to have a negative interpretation of the word slut, maybe that's because English is her second language and so doesn't automatically catch on to the negativity. Or she just doesn't feel it's a bad thing at all I suppose.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

That’s great news and absolutely a massive step forward for you both!

Imagine if she had liked the guy she kissed! It wouldn’t take a lot for that to lead to a phone number, or even an invite back to his or a hotel.

Maybe have a chat with her and let her know if things do progress like that in the heat of the moment (I’ve learnt from my HotWife things can really progress fast when they like someone!) that it’s perfectly ok. If you want to set any rules then discuss them. For example she has to let you know what she is doing or where she is going. You might of course just prefer to give her free rein to do what she wants and tell you after.

Congrats to you both :-)

Thanks! Yeah, I'm sure that things could have been different if he was exactly her type. Maybe one day we will find out I think she wasn't really expecting the kiss and it threw her off a little, the guy went for it and fair play to him. I can certainly say he's got good taste in women I just don't think she was expecting it, maybe being more prepared would have given her more of a chance to enjoy it. Like I said, she really is extremely inexperienced around other men and dating, so after a couple of surprise kisses she will begin to expect they could happen and anticipate them?

[Seductionrules]

Sorry I meant that it gave Z a clear indication of what she wanted to do.

[54321]

Everything seems to be going well. How did you and your wife meet?

54321

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Everything seems to be going well. How did you and your wife meet?

54321

Thanks, we actually met on Tinder.

L is bringing the topic up quite unprompted these last few days, I've actually been trying to back off a little and let things settle so she can process. Going out with her friend Z seems to have lit a bit of a fire in her. Last night we went to a sex shop because she wants to get a remote controlled bullet and then dance with guys while I watch and control it from a distance, entirely her idea. In bed last night she told me that she actually had sex with the guy she kissed and was a little disappointed when I joked that I didn't believe her. I told her that I know she isn't there yet, I'm bummed that I missed the opportunity to play into it (it kinda caught me off guard) and have her describe it to me. Hopefully there will be other opportunities where she is willing to imagine and describe her thoughts for me.

Tonight I'm going to eat her pussy and have her tell me about her ideal date, I love eating her pussy while she talks to me. Now I'm hoping she has a whole fantasy she can play into, as I've mentioned before she didn't really have any fantasies up until now.

[newUK]

It’s such a turn on when they start opening up and admitting their fantasies! Enjoy :-)

[SlimScott]

Both of you have come a long way.

I think encouraging L to go out with her friend Z often will be helpful to L. Her friend will encourage her to find someone and will help her to relax.

Best of luck! She will soon be a hotwife!

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

It’s such a turn on when they start opening up and admitting their fantasies! Enjoy :-)

Thanks, we've been having some fun for sure.

Both of you have come a long way.

I think encouraging L to go out with her friend Z often will be helpful to L. Her friend will encourage her to find someone and will help her to relax.

Best of luck! She will soon be a hotwife!

Many small steps makes a journey, for sure.

L signed up to a dating website for married women last night, she was immediately disappointed by the quality of men on offer She said she prefers to hunt in the wild, she doesn't want to invest a lot of time in talking and getting to know people. She just wants to have some fun and then say goodbye. I've been having a look online this evening while she is out playing tennis and I've come across a website called Fetlife. That seems to be more up our alley. It's basically a kink friendly site that is sort of a social media website, it even has events and meetups. And we're in luck! There seems to be regular events in our city. So I think I'll introduce her to it, though probably I'll have to do most of the leg work, but it means we can potentially go to kink friendly events as a couple and not have to worry about leading people on so much.

Hopefully we can attend some events, play or not, depending on if there are guys there she likes. She can go as far as she likes in a safe environment. Most importantly guys and girls that will respect both of us and we may even meet some other friendly couples!

It sounds almost too good to be true?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

L has been very vocal with me about her fantasies while I have been massaging her clit with my hands and tongue. I don't think she will be jumping on anyones dick any time soon, she really doesn't think there are many great looking men in our area and we see no point in doing that unless it's for someone that's worth it. However, she seems very turned on by the idea of using a guy for her own pleasure, so watch out guys a selfish little whirlwind might be coming your way.

Next week is our 3rd anniversary. Our plan is to go out somewhere for lunch then to a bar in the evening. I've got her some vibrating panties, it's basically a thong with a pocket in the gusset for a small bullet type vibrator, which has a remote that can be controlled from across the room. So I'll be sitting and having a beer while she dances with and gets to know men she likes, all the while I keep her clit stimulated from across the bar. I'm hoping she gets extremely worked up and frothy and really lets herself go.

L is also having talks with me now about more specific issues, like what would we do if someone catches feelings for her. She hasn't asked about her catching feelings yet, but I'm sure we will have that discussion sometime soon. We're also having deeper discussions about our lives together, the depth of our feelings and partnership together. We also seem to be getting closer in a lot of smaller ways, I'm certainly going out of my way to be more present in our marriage and I feel that she is too. We had a discussion last night about how the passion in our relationship and sex isn't the same as when we first started dating, but that sex is an extention of every other part of our lives (good and bad) and that even though the raw passion isn't there anymore it still feels more meaningful that it did.

I think the talks we've had about opening up her side of the marriage and by extention the sexual discussions, seem to be spurring thoughts about the rest of our relationship and appreciation for each other. Also, once you tell each other that you'd like to sleep with other people and you're not judged or shamed by your partner talking about all sorts of other things become less scary too. Does that make sense? At the core of it I think opening up and sharing and listening seems to be having positive repercussions in all areas of my marriage, not just sexual.

[Seductionrules]

Thanks for the update.
It sounds like you both are enjoying the journey

[Farmgirl]

I'm proud to say that made my heart swell with love, I'm confident that if we can go at a comfortable pace that this will really enhance our marriage.

Hopefully, you reinforced this to her as well . Those are the kinds of things we love to hear!

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

I'm proud to say that made my heart swell with love, I'm confident that if we can go at a comfortable pace that this will really enhance our marriage.

Hopefully, you reinforced this to her as well . Those are the kinds of things we love to hear!

I absolutely told her and I will tell her again when we go out this weekend

[Farmgirl]

Big steps forward for her. The physical reality of actually sleeping with a guy is a long way off I would imagine, but she certainly seems completely comfortable with the idea of dating men and using them in some form for her own pleasure. It's just finding the right guy.

Do be prepared that if she finds the right guy, things can move much faster than you realize. I've seen it happen many times and the husband is often caught off guard. Once we feel comfortable that we have our husband's full support, and meet the right guy, we can move swiftly.

[toshare]

So true, once my girl was into it, she moved us fast forward into hotwife then cuckoldry very fast when she started finding guys she wanted to date and have sex with. Not to scare you, as its a wild ride, just be a bit more ready for her to want more faster than shes letting on.