That defining moment when you both realised that you were going to enter this lifestyle.

[Wifewithothers]

Different moments built up to it.

We had our first couple of experiences while dating in college. First being about a month after we started dating , short version she ended up blowing a random guy at a party. Everyone thought I left with her right after to fight, even she thought that. Instead we ended up having great sex .

After college a few other experiences led us to quickly realize these were not as random as we were pretending and we liked it.
So we began playing more

Took a break from playing about 3 months before we got, plenty of wedding plans, not sure if we wanted to continue once we were married, etc. a month or two after wedding. We were moving apartments (across the hall to s bigger place) , had one friend come help us. A guy we had done mfm before., but mainly he was just a friend. Well there was tension, flirting, a quick discussion while he ran out to pick up pizza and more beer. Started with foreplay and oral in our living room. She was very into asking him if a married woman gave good head and how her married pussy tasted. She took him to our bed alone, asked me to wait a bit. She begged him to fuck her in her marriage bed and to cum in her married pussy. Then begged me to fuck her while she kept talking about how another man had just fucked my wife and filled her...

At that point we were full on going to keep doing this.

[coastalkid]

Started with a girlfriends birthday bar hopping night. Husband nudged me to dress sexier than I normally would. Flirted. Had fun.
Repeated - only dressing even sexier.

Eventually led to us picking guys from dating sites for a simple "dress sexy", meet a guy and flirt - dates. Super fun. Hot sex when I got home.

We knew we were getting close to "crossing the rubicon".

One date - the guy wasn't super fit, or hot, but he was charming, funny and I felt totally comfortable with him.

Our rules had evolved from "call if you might take it further" into "don't call until you're on the way home". This was to prevent us talking ourselves OUT of doing it.

Guy asked me back to his place. I turned off my phone. A few minutes later I'm having a huge orgasm on his mouth, followed by a massive orgasm with his when he came in me. Amazing adventure.
I still fuck this same guy at least once a year when he visits our town for the same convention I met him during.

A million fails, misteps, false starts, and silliness along the way but its funny how those just fall away over time. Its the hot nights that remain.

The highlighted part is what intrigues me. It sounds like you and your husband have been together a long time. It's clear you both wanted this. A perfect example is in the fact that you not only had rules but that they had evolved. I'll bet all those "fails, missteps, and silliness" didn't simply fall away over time without some help and some deep consideration.

Since you have experience now what to you seems more difficult, initially convincing yourself and committing to being non-monogamous or, making it work afterwards to where all parties involved are happy and satisfied? Both seem like they have their own challenges.

[sissystlouis]

I think our moment is happening right now lol

[Pantyboy99]

Has she finally got a man to take care of her needs?

What part of St. Louis are you from?

[Natatude]

He was not picked, I told him no coworkers or employees as he is the foreman. That’s too close for me. I choose people an hour to an hour and a half away. So we don’t run into each other locally. We live in the boondocks and it takes us about 45 minutes to a town with restaurants and bars. So we meet half way most generally.

[dkcuck123]

I didn’t know until 3 weeks later haha . I discovered my interest in her having sex with others from literotica online. I eventually shared it with her and like many stories here, she seemed to say “That’s cool, but nope.”. Over time we met friends where sexually was more in the open at house parties, and seeing other women comfortable kissing other guys, going topless in the hot tub, etc. in front of the husbands made her slowly start to question the possibility.

I found out I was I guess technically a cuckold when I confronted her on whether she had slept with another guy one night. She had been acting really strange, distant, no sex for three weeks. I discovered that the unopened box of condoms in her bedside table was opened and only 10 remained. So I pretty much knew she had. She confessed immediately that she had met a guy in bar on a girls night out and brought him home and fucked him on our sofa. She was scared to tell me, but didn’t have the same issue with her girlfriends! Haha! I reassured her it was ok, sexy, and she took me to the sofa and fucked me to recreate the event that night. I knew she was hooked once she realized and trusted me that I truly wanted her to do it.

[tiedyeHotwife]

A million fails, misteps, false starts, and silliness along the way but its funny how those just fall away over time. Its the hot nights that remain.

The highlighted part is what intrigues me. It sounds like you and your husband have been together a long time. It's clear you both wanted this. A perfect example is in the fact that you not only had rules but that they had evolved. I'll bet all those "fails, missteps, and silliness" didn't simply fall away over time without some help and some deep consideration.

Since you have experience now what to you seems more difficult, initially convincing yourself and committing to being non-monogamous or, making it work afterwards to where all parties involved are happy and satisfied? Both seem like they have their own challenges.
[/quote]

90% of my 'fails" was being too judgmental and uptight.
When I just go with what feels right, it always turns out great.

Agree that every piece of this has challenges. Some are common to all that play this game, some that are unique to a particular couple.

My husbands philosophy is that it needs to be 1% hotter than it is angsty. 51/49 and it works.
After a few adventures we found that it was more fun to push way over the line - and then with love, cuddling, affection - work our way back to making it hotter vs angst.

There a million variations to explore and as long was we can love each other through the angst - it all works out.

But outright "fails" were all just me getting weird and uptight - for no real reason.

[coastalkid]

A million fails, misteps, false starts, and silliness along the way but its funny how those just fall away over time. Its the hot nights that remain.

The highlighted part is what intrigues me. It sounds like you and your husband have been together a long time. It's clear you both wanted this. A perfect example is in the fact that you not only had rules but that they had evolved. I'll bet all those "fails, missteps, and silliness" didn't simply fall away over time without some help and some deep consideration.

Since you have experience now what to you seems more difficult, initially convincing yourself and committing to being non-monogamous or, making it work afterwards to where all parties involved are happy and satisfied? Both seem like they have their own challenges.

90% of my 'fails" was being too judgmental and uptight.
When I just go with what feels right, it always turns out great.

Agree that every piece of this has challenges. Some are common to all that play this game, some that are unique to a particular couple.

My husbands philosophy is that it needs to be 1% hotter than it is angsty. 51/49 and it works.
After a few adventures we found that it was more fun to push way over the line - and then with love, cuddling, affection - work our way back to making it hotter vs angst.

There a million variations to explore and as long was we can love each other through the angst - it all works out.

But outright "fails" were all just me getting weird and uptight - for no real reason.

I truly appreciate your honest reply! I appreciate you taking the responsibility for your part in the fails. Far too often I get the impression that women pass the blame onto their husbands for any failure solely because it was their idea. It's my guess that there a whole lot of brand new feelings and emotions that come along with a brand new experience. Those things can't be easily anticipated.

The part about your husband saying it needs to 1% hotter than the angst makes sense. I don't think he can get past his "angsty" moments without your help though. That's part of what I was getting at. You'd have to be aware of when his angst levels got too high. Then you'd have to do something or you could ignore it. Either way you're involved in his experience being good or bad. I'm sure you don't leave those kind of things to chance.

That's why I asked which was harder to do, to convince yourself to become a hot wife or making it work afterwards. I think there's a lot of unspoken responsibility a wife has if she really loves her husband. I'm not saying you do, but others that say, "Well, it was his idea!" is a minimal effort at making things truly work.

[bewareoflizzy]

For us, it was when we were 35,married for 9 years, with two children. We were staying at a hotel in San Francisco on a romantic weekend and Liz looked divine. We went to a very classy restaurant and started drinking wine and flirting. Soon our sexy talk started and we broached our recent topic of her seducing a guy. This was starting to dominate my thoughts and Lizzy was starting to enjoy the fantasy as well. We smoked pot back at the room and she offered to massage me. While naked, she first talked about several candidates at the restaurant she worked at that interested her, then, while liberally applying the baby oil to my rock-hard penis, she switched gears and started talking about a fantasy of seducing my much older boss, a guy known as a lady killer in the company. I went nuts, ballistic, crazy turned-on by her sudden turn. We had never talked so openly about a specific person she might be willing to fuck. We had crazy sex for hours thinking and talking about her fantasies. That never happened but 6 months later, she was seducing and fucking the younger cook at the restaurant.

[tiedyeHotwife]

I truly appreciate your honest reply! I appreciate you taking the responsibility for your part in the fails. Far too often I get the impression that women pass the blame onto their husbands for any failure solely because it was their idea. It's my guess that there a whole lot of brand new feelings and emotions that come along with a brand new experience. Those things can't be easily anticipated.

The part about your husband saying it needs to 1% hotter than the angst makes sense. I don't think he can get past his "angsty" moments without your help though. That's part of what I was getting at. You'd have to be aware of when his angst levels got too high. Then you'd have to do something or you could ignore it. Either way you're involved in his experience being good or bad. I'm sure you don't leave those kind of things to chance.
Isn't this really the line between Hotwife vs Cuckolding? I view hotwifing as it is very much on me to be watchful of the angst and keeping it on the good side. But also tweeking it a bit to turn up the heat occasionally. I'm about to take a huge step way over "the line" this week while knowing I have to be ready to reduce the angst I'm about to cause.

That's why I asked which was harder to do, to convince yourself to become a hot wife or making it work afterwards. I think there's a lot of unspoken responsibility a wife has if she really loves her husband. I'm not saying you do, but others that say, "Well, it was his idea!" is a minimal effort at making things truly work.
[/quote]
1000x harder to let myself open up sexually and enjoy it all. Several years to get there. Making it work afterwards has been easy as my husband handles most of it (making sure its all good experiences for me, especially when I get home).

[coastalkid]

...Isn't this really the line between Hotwife vs Cuckolding? I view hotwifing as it is very much on me to be watchful of the angst and keeping it on the good side. But also tweeking it a bit to turn up the heat occasionally. I'm about to take a huge step way over "the line" this week while knowing I have to be ready to reduce the angst I'm about to cause.

....1000x harder to let myself open up sexually and enjoy it all. Several years to get there. Making it work afterwards has been easy as my husband handles most of it (making sure its all good experiences for me, especially when I get home).

Thanks again for your reply. It comes as good and bad news for me. Good, because you are turning up the heat but you're ready for the potential results. Bad, because of reading that it was much more difficult to open up sexually and enjoy it all confirms the difficulty I've had in talking with my wife about it. We've progressed to fantasy talk during sex but it's been confined to just that. Thanks again for your valued insight!

[tiedyeHotwife]

Would be happy to chat with her via DM if that would be fun for both of you.

- for any other potential HW's that will read this over time .....
these are my thoughts - and I realize I have a different viewpoint than many wives hold ....

Things that took me too long to realize -
- we have all fucked other men. we know how to fuck and have sex so why did I make such a big deal out of trying this out?
- even bad sex - is actually good sex - because its just sexy to get naked, have a man get hot for us and we get to enjoy that sexual power making him cum.
- You can always go back to monogamy. one new cock isn't going to change you (unless you want it to). I realize now that even if i just tried it once, and never again, it would be a sexy memory and fun to re-live with my husband.
- why was I so closed off to trying anything new? I hated the thought of anything anal, only to find that I love it now. Bondage? same thing.
Try things! If you don't like it, don't repeat it.
- Stop with the self judgment. If we are all honest with ourselves, we've all done something slutty in our past. Why not do something slutty with or for your husband?

But the big one is -
Don't make a mountain out of it.
Be sexy. Dress Sexy, pick a sexy guy, and put yourself in situation that has the potential to build sexual tension with him.
Once I started doing that, it only took 2 dates before I was ready to go for it.
Even at this point, if I think about the whole HotWife thing, I'll get uneasy about it. So I just go back to, dress sexy and put myself in sexy situations and let nature take its course.

[Wistful]

TiedyeHotwife's words seem so compelling, reasonable, and genuine. Wish this post were available to show my wife years ago--might have made the difference?

[leggysman]

- for any other potential HW's that will read this over time .....

This is a great post. It seems like this should be in a sticky thread, perhaps somewhere like the Wannabe forum, for the benefit of wives who remain unconvinced.

[BritishCuckCpl]

There are several ways I could answer that.

I knew I wanted to be a cuck before we even married, it was something that had developed over time and I was at peace with knowing it was something that fit my nature.

But when it clicked for us both was much later. Like most wives, my wife was reluctant to the idea. She found the fantasy to be quite a turn on but the idea of doing it for real was something she couldn't imagine actually doing. But it was something we both agreed we found erotic as a fantasy, so that could be considered a moment when we both knew we liked the idea.

But as for actually doing it for real, I think that became real immediately after a social event, and over about a week after. I think the idea of doing it for real seemed a bit seedy to my wife and would involve strange men. But going to a social event and meeting other hotwives, bulls and cucks and realising they were fun ordinary people with all the same challenges as us (family, work etc) demystified in and removed a lot of anxiety. Most of the other wives had gone back to their rooms at the end of the night with a bull so we were stuck in our room talking about the evening and I could see it was playing on her mind that we were the boring ones back in our room while the others were still partying in a fashion.

The next day she was talking about it and then over the following week she kept bringing it up and was talking to a bull we met there and I think that was the point, over that week that it clicked that this could be a fun and real thing to enjoy.

[windymiller]

There were two in our life,

She confessed just before we married that she had cheated on me and been fucked on holiday, as she told me i made lover to her, i didnt like her crying and yes her confession did turned me on. All was forgiven as i gave her my seed.

When she was about 24 my then best friend seduced her infront of me, her resistance was nil, i then knew what a poor inexperienced lover i was to her as she had multi orgasms to his touch.

In the following days she was very sexy towards me and gave me treats, he wanted to see her again and i saw the benefits to me so i allowed him to.

It would be another couple of years before she lied to me and we had an explosive argument, well she sat cried and listened, then when the anger had calmed from me we talked through the night and she confessed she had already been having an affair with him and allowed me to watched as she wanted me to know, sure partly based on how i reacted to her confession before we married that i would accept her wants and desires.

The problem was i knew i liked her having lovers and knew she had a desires far above my ability, at this point we both knew hat we were already firmly in this lifestyle.