"I never want you to fuck me again"

[mr_slapdash]

I've been a member of this forum for almost 20 years. We started mostly with hotwifing. We've had an open relationship from day one, and have been together for 28 years. A bout with breast cancer kept her on the sidelines for a decade. For the last few years, she's started seeing men again. And unlike before, she's specifically dated men of a body type that's very different from mine, a body type that she seemed more naturally inclined to and that is definitely not me.

This has opened me up much more to the cuckolding kink over the last few years. While I've always enjoyed the cuckolding and chastity kinks, it's been a small spice in our relationship, never to the level at which I have been hoping it would be. Over the last year, we've taken baby steps forward.

• She admitted to me that I am likely the fifth best lover she has had in her life.
• She far prefers having sex with her current boyfriend than she does with me.
• I am the only ongoing boyfriend she has had that does not have her ideal body type (very, very skinny).
• Most importantly, if she could see her boyfriend 2 to 3 times a week, she would not want to have me inside her pussy anymore, because she would want to save herself for her boyfriend. (We're both in our early 50s.) But she can only see her boyfriend once a week, due to limitations set by his wife. And she still needs to get fucked more than once a week, so she still wants me to fuck her.

But this last week has been a major step forward in our relationship. I had a long talk with my wife while we were doing work around the house. She's not working anymore, having retired over a year ago. My work, however, has gotten ever more stressful this year. To the point where I wasn't sleeping well and was having nightmares. I started understanding why it is that high-powered executives would see professional Dommes, because the idea of submission and surrender over an important part of my life sounded like bliss.

So I explained this to my wife. I told her that I was incredibly stressed out at work, and that I really needed for us to reframe our sexual relationship. I needed to submit to her, sexually, and for her to take control of that part of my life. I was not and am not looking for a FLR; we have strong equality in every other part of our marriage. keep myself sane, at least while I am working this very stressful job.

I told her that these were the things I was looking for:

• I want to cage every day, and that she would keep my key, with an emergency key available in a lockbox.
• I want her to control if and when I orgasm.
• I want her to control when we have sex, and what kind of sex we have.
• I want her, at least once a day, to acknowledge my inferiority in our sex, compared to her boyfriend.
• I want her to consider using my cock less, and using toys, dildos, and strap-ons more.
• I want her to be more matter-of-fact about my lack of skill at sex. It doesn't have to be cruel, it can be kind, but it needs to be blunt, matter-of-fact, and most importantly, honest.

And that last bullet point has been the hardest for her. She is naturally a very kind person, and she has a difficult time saying things that she considers cruel. And for me, I only want to hear things that are true, that are real. The last thing I want is for her to tell me something because she thinks I want to hear it. I only want her to tell me that I'm inferior to her boyfriend because I really am. But if it's true, I need to hear it! I don't want her to hold back just because she thinks it's being unkind to me. Quite the opposite, the more real and honest she is, the happier I am. We have a phrase that we use, "First in my heart." And when we say that to each other, we remind ourselves that our marriage always comes first, that we will never do anything to harm what we have built together for almost 30 years. I believe that our marriage can not only survive, but thrive under this arrangement.

So she agreed to try it. We'd try it for one week. Then we'd be out of town for two weeks, and would have a normal relationship during that time. We'd discuss how the last week went. Then, when we returned, we'd try it again if we both agreed to it.

For me, this last week has been just about perfection. It's been the most erotically charged week of my life. She locked me up on Saturday, and kept me locked up every day this week. With one glitch, she told me every day how much she wished she could fuck her boyfriend that day, or something similarly humiliating.

On Tuesday, we had this text conversation:

Wife: "I want you to fuck me with a dildo today or tonight. Wear the strap."
Wife: "It sounds better than your cock."
Me: "You want a large one?"
Wife: "I want the one we bought in Florida."
Me: "I can do that. Why do you want that one?"
Wife: "I like the way it hits b"
Me: "do you want that inside you more than you want my cock?"
Wife: "Today yeah"
Me: "whatever you want. But I also want to point out that it's been a week since you had my cock inside you, since last Tuesday"
Wife: "Are you asking to fuck me?"
Me: "No, because I know you'll say no if I do"
Wife: "So what are you whining about?"
Me: "i'm just surprised that you want the dildo more than my cock since it's been a week"
Wife: "The pussy wants what it wants"

Friends, I can't tell you how much that turned me on. That afternoon, in an hour that I had free at work, I ate her out, and then fucked her with a strap-on. Afterwards, I asked her how it compared to my cock. And remember, our agreement is no fantasy talk; everything she says has to be true. And she said that while it didn't have the same emotional component as my real cock, it certainly felt as good as my real cock. And for me, I LOVED fucking her with the strap-on. Watching my little cock in a pink cage dangling below this firm dildo that was giving her orgasms was incredible.

After she was done, I asked her if I could cum, and she told me no. She said it was good for me to stay locked for a while. For the rest of the day I was so horny. And it was great. Almost every other time I have had a sexual encounter with my wife, it ended with an orgasm for me. And so I would normally be unaroused afterward, but this time, I was on edge for the whole rest of the day. I couldn't stop thinking about sex, about climaxing, about how that thick dildo looked going in and out of her pussy, the sounds she made. By divorcing my own physical pleasure from the process of sex, I managed to instead concentrate ONLY on what made her feel good, on what she wanted and asked for. Instead of the give-and-take of sex, I got to treat her like the goddess I think she deserves to be treated like. So I spent the rest of the day constantly remembering how much I enjoyed our encounter, rather than the normal post-sex mundanity of life. It was as if I was living in vibrant technicolor.

On Wednesday, I couldn't stand it anymore. I could only think about cumming. Four days without an orgasm, while being incredibly turned on, was too much for me to bear. I begged her for sex. And of course, she told me no, because she was not in the mood, and wanted to save herself for her boyfriend. I asked if I could cum, and she said that she would let me cum from having a toy in my ass. So she stayed fully clothed and did not touch my body at all, while a toy thrusting wand was in my ass and her Hitachi Magic Wand was against my cage. I came really really close to cumming in my cage, but I did not manage her. I PLEADED to be unlocked from my cage, and I don't know how I would have made it through the day if she had said no. Thankfully she had pity on me and unlocked my cage. Between the anal toy and me rubbing my cock for the first time in days, I had one of the top-five orgasms of my life! Long, powerful, and very, very loud. My wife thought that I had lost my mind. :-)

My stress levels have reduced so much this week from doing all of this. It's been the second-hardest week of my life at work, and doing this cuckolding with my wife has been the biggest thing keeping me sane. The submission and humiliation, combined with the intense sexual energy, has been exactly what I needed. Over the last two nights I've slept rock-solid, better than I have in months. And while I continue to deal with random bullshit in my job, my ability to handle it has been so much better, directly because of this new dynamic with my wife.

So today, it's Friday. It's been a week now since we started this. Tomorrow, we have seven hours in the car together. We're going to take that time to talk about how the week has been for us, and decide whether we want to keep going. I definitely want to keep going. This has been the best week of my life, sexually, and I desperately want more. I hope she agrees. I want to listen to her during our car ride, and make sure that she is satisfied with what we've been doing. I think she is, but if she's not, we'll have to wind it back. But if she is enjoying it, here's what I'm planning to ask for as we move forward.

I'd really like to continue with not fucking her with my actual cock. I love fucking her, I love feeling my cock inside her pussy. But if the strap-on and dildos feel physically just as good as my cock? That's incredibly humiliating, and an incredible turn-on. If she were to tell me that if I said yes, that I would never fuck her again, I would do it in a heartbeat. My heart is beating so rapidly as I type those words. Would I really be willing to never put my cock inside her again, to have it so that her husband's cock is banned from her pussy? Yes, without question. Sure, I'd want a safeword, I'd want the ability to change my mind in the future. But the idea of never fucking her again, because she is getting better cock elsewhere, is so powerfully erotic that I can barely express it.

If she is not ok with me never fucking her again (which, knowing her, she might not be) I hope she will consider something else instead to keep me inferior to her boyfriend. For instance, never giving me a blowjob again. Requiring that I use a condom when I fuck her. Limiting the number of times that I can fuck her to once a month. Limiting the times that I get to fuck her to only the times when we are out of town, on vacation, so that our bed is reserved for her boyfriend fucking her. There's lots of possibilities between a normal sex life and no fucking at all, and I hope if she's not willing to cut me off completely, that she chooses one of those in-between states.

I still want frequent sexual intimacy with her. I still want once or twice a week to eat her out or fuck her with a dildo. I still want to kiss her, to feel her body pressed against mine. She turns me on MORE THAN EVER now, and I want to plow this extra sexual energy I have into pleasing her.

I want her to continue to cage me and control whether or not I orgasm. She should continue to have the power to choose my pleasure, when it happens and what form it takes.

I want humiliation to be an ongoing, daily thing. I don't want this to be a huge mental burden for her. But I'm hoping that two or three minutes out of every day is not too much, to do or say or text something to remind me of how inferior I am to her boyfriend, how much she would rather fuck him than fuck me. As long as it's the truth, I want to hear it.

I hope she recognizes how much more pliable I am when I am horny. :-) I'm far more likely to agree to things, to take on extra chores, to buy her flowers, to agree to her spending money with her boyfriend, to agree to her spending money on clothes and shoes, when I am kept in a state of erotic intensity. I hope she sees these extra benefits, and that they are making her life better, and our relationship stronger.

But what matters most is her pleasure, her needs, her wants, her desires. I want to make sure that she is getting everything she wants from our relationship, both sexual and non-sexual. I want to be responsive to her sexuality, and give her the heights of pleasure. No matter what she wants from me, I want to be sure to give it to her.

But I hope... deeply, passionately, and truly... that she can look me in the eye and honestly tell me those words that I am most desperate to hear her say:

"I never want you to fuck me again."

[Long Lurker 34]

MR - SD
- Perhaps if she says no to your request you could suggest she look for a second BF.

[mr_slapdash]

MR - SD
- Perhaps if she says no to your request you could suggest she look for a second BF.

She doesn't have any interest in that right now. She is very, very picky. And she gets exhausted looking for guys.

[Tryagain]

I know it is a usual question but is she looking for guys with much bigger cocks than yours?

[realcucklife]

You have captured so well the thoughts and desire that takes cucks down the denial path.
For the conversation starter you”d almost print it and let her read it.

[venus-can99]

Thanks for the very interesting post slap! Would love to hear how your drive went and how she feels about this and hope both of your dreams and wants come (cum?) true
Would be great to hear about your past experiences as well

[mr_slapdash]

She's not interested so much in bigger cocks than she is in very skinny guys. Her boyfriends cock is bigger than mine, but not by much.

I unexpectedly did let her read this. I posted to my fet profile, which I have never told her what the username is. After I told her that I journaled there, she persuaded me to tell me my username so she could read it. She has, and said, "Wow, that was a powerful read. Hard to believe I'm the subject of that on some levels." We will talk about it tomorrow, but it's probably good that it's all out in the open.

Depending on how things go I might talk more about our past. I'll definitely update after our car ride tomorrow.

[Long Lurker 34]

She's not interested so much in bigger cocks than she is in very skinny guys. Her boyfriends cock is bigger than mine, but not by much.

I unexpectedly did let her read this. I posted to my fet profile, which I have never told her what the username is. After I told her that I journaled there, she persuaded me to tell me my username so she could read it. She has, and said, "Wow, that was a powerful read. Hard to believe I'm the subject of that on some levels." We will talk about it tomorrow, but it's probably good that it's all out in the open.

Depending on how things go I might talk more about our past. I'll definitely update after our car ride tomorrow.

MR - SD
- So do I understand this correctly, your HW's 'thing' is very, very skinny guys? Different if so, certainly no judgment from me. A definite change up from the usual "Adonis" muscular type to be sure.
- VV skinny with a larger cock I take it.
- I will encourage this, being purely selfish, as it's always of interest to learn how people got to where they are.
- She is picky about her guys you mentioned earlier and the need for good multiple rounds every week. I would hazard you would know of her at least basic parameters, so what if you could do some of that ground work of finding a second BF? Pass over the findings to her or even set up vanilla meet and greets?

[sophie_joy]

I think denial should be part of a healthy relationship. But never? There would have to be so much more involved, like devotion to pleasing me orally, or learning how handjobs cn replace intercourse. As a woman, I want to be in charge, but that means I get to choose.

[sophie_joy]

I think denial should be part of a healthy relationship. But never? There would have to be so much more involved, like devotion to pleasing me orally, or learning how handjobs can replace intercourse. As a woman, I want to be in charge, but that means I get to choose.

[Barti]

I think denial should be part of a healthy relationship. But never? There would have to be so much more involved, like devotion to pleasing me orally, or learning how handjobs can replace intercourse. As a woman, I want to be in charge, but that means I get to choose.

True. The girl has to decide!
Intimacy is most important.
In my case, my gf fucks every week different men. +600 in two years. I am permanently caged, i did not fuck her since august. Oraly i let her orgasm every day, but She will not let me fuck her in 2025 and surely not without condom. She wants to get pregnant later, so it is not yet "never". But i know there will come a moment that she wil say "never again".

[Ghalilaeus]

[quote=Barti post_id=1552527 time=1744969419
True. The girl has to decide!
Intimacy is most important.
In my case, my gf fucks every week different men. +600 in two years. I am permanently caged, i did not fuck her since august. Oraly i let her orgasm every day, but She will not let me fuck her in 2025 and surely not without condom. She wants to get pregnant later, so it is not yet "never". But i know there will come a moment that she wil say "never again".
[/quote]

Would it be OK with you if in the end She decides to get pregnant by another man?

[Barti]

[quote=Barti post_id=1552527 time=1744969419
True. The girl has to decide!
Intimacy is most important.
In my case, my gf fucks every week different men. +600 in two years. I am permanently caged, i did not fuck her since august. Oraly i let her orgasm every day, but She will not let me fuck her in 2025 and surely not without condom. She wants to get pregnant later, so it is not yet "never". But i know there will come a moment that she wil say "never again".

Would it be OK with you if in the end She decides to get pregnant by another man?
[/quote]

I don't know....

[realcucklife]

Mr Dash,
Hope you’re doing ok after that long car ride?
Curious to know how it all went?

[Barti]

Mr Dash,
Hope you’re doing ok after that long car ride?
Curious to know how it all went?

?????

[mr_slapdash]

Things went ok that day, not great. But they took a surprising turn a week later when an old boyfriend showed up... My old boyfriend, not hers. The problem is, every time I go to write it, it sounds so FAKE. It sounds like something I just made up as wank material, but it's not.

I'll try to write it up in the coming days, but it's very different from the usual stories here. TLDR is that my wife has agreed to stop fucking me, not necessarily permanently, but for now. But it's not because she wants it, or because her boyfriend wants it, but because MY boyfriend wants it.

Like I said, a very different type of story than use usually posted here. But in this case the bull demanding chastity is mine, not hers. Does this even fit here? I'm not sure. Let me know if you want to hear more, but I'm not sure people will.

[MaybesoonACuck]

Hi mr_slapdash,

Yes, please let us know about it.

[realcucklife]

Wow!
Can’t wait to read it when you get the chance

[CTHotwifeHusband]

Would LOVE to hear more--please fill us in as you can!

[mr_slapdash]

This is probably going to be long and involved, and take multiple posts. I do promise you this: Everything I write about on this thread is true and accurate, to the best of my memory. The only thing that turns me on about this fetish is clear, blunt honesty, and so I'm going to provide the same thing to you. I ask my wife never exaggerate, to never tell me things just because I want to hear them, to only tell me the truth.

Just to set a baseline, here's a transcription of a text message conversation we had back in February.

Me: Tell me that you are much more sexually attracted to A* than you have EVER been to me
Wife: That is true. I'm crazy for his body in a way I've never been for yours.
Me: God that turns me on so much to know
Wife: I'm glad. If I could fuck him every week like I did this week I wouldn't need to fuck you at all.
Me: If you could fuck him every week like you did this week, would you even want to fuck me?
Wife: Honestly No I'd save myself for him.
Me: Would you really?
Me: Wow
Me: I love so much that you're honest about that
Me: But that's incredibly painful
Me: And a real turn on
Wife: You ask me this often.
Me: You seriously wouldn't want to fuck me anymore? There's a big difference between need and want
Me: You need to get fucked often
Wife: I'd be worried about being sore and I'd want to prioritize A*. So no.
Wife: Maybe when you and I went on vacation.
Me: I love you so much

That's the baseline. She loves getting fucked, she wants to get fucked 2 to 3 times a week. So she is happy to fuck me. She doesn't consider me inadequate or anything. It's just that it's so much better with A* that she would gladly never fuck me again as long as she could fuck A* more often. But since that doesn't seem likely to ever happen, that's where things stalled.

Beginning of April we have the conversation that led to the original post. Then on Saturday, April 11, we had the long car ride. It didn't go particularly well or badly. She was glad to have read my journal entry, but it didn't really change much for her. She was perfectly fine with continuing with our arrangement for the foreseeable future, but had no desire to stop fucking me. So that's where we left it.

We fucked that night. A few days later on Tuesday we had sex without fucking because she said she only wanted oral from me. On Friday April 17 she drove home alone to see her boyfriend, leaving me for another week in New England, where I still am right now. (I come home this Sunday.)

And now I need to give you more backstory. We've always had an open relationship, 28 years, and we've been open from day one. You can see in my post history about the gangbang we had for her just before she had breast cancer surgery. It was a pretty traditional hotwife relationship, I enjoyed watching her get fucked, we had an active sex life. I had other lovers, male and female, though I leaned much more strongly towards women.

Then came about ten years where my wife was not active at all. She was upset with her body and how it looked post-cancer, and we had an occasional but mostly inactive sex life.

About seven years ago, something snapped. I was driving home one evening and she called me in the car. She said, "I have something to tell you. I think I have a crush on my co-worker." This floored me; she hadn't expressed sexual interest in anyone in ten years.

She didn't end up dating this co-worker (thank goodness) but her sexuality came back in a rush. She started seeing men, mostly short-term flings, but all the time she was looking for something longer-lasting, real, ongoing. But I started to notice something funny: Every single guy she slept with looked exactly the same. Ultra-skinny, could snap him like a twig, as she likes to say. And this is not my body type AT ALL.

This led to some hard conversations, where I finally got her to admit that while she was attracted to me, I didn't have the body type that she she was naturally attracted to. Apparently every boyfriend that she had before me was exactly the same body type. Once she started dating me she decided she wanted more variety in her lovers. But now that her sexuality had unlocked, she found herself only being attracted to those ultra-skinny men again. And me.

You can see where this is going. I was, and still am to some degree, deeply skeptical of her professed attraction to me, given that she was ONLY dating men with a very different body type from my own. And this is where my hotwife kink turned into a cuckolding kink, as I learned how to eroticize the jealousy that I was having, jealousy I hadn't experienced in close to twenty years.

Then a new boyfriend, C*, entered her life. I think I'll leave C* to the next chapter.